Tag Archives: Positivity

Online Dating is like Twitter

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When you’re setting up your profile on Plenty of Fish, it’s pretty hard to know what to say. I’m not sure if it’s just a British thing, we can find it really hard to sell ourselves as we’re a modest lot and it’s seen as pretty rude to brag. But that’s what online dating, and Twitter, is all about.

If you have a poor dating profile, you won’t get the messages and you’re less likely to find someone you could see yourself being with on the long haul. It’s all a bit messed up really, we don’t know what we’re doing to start off with. Which pictures are an accurate representation of me, but are also truly flattering? How do I not let on that I’m possibly the most boring person in the world without actually seeming to lie? Should I say my favourite pastime is chilling to Netflix? If I do I might be bombarded with first date suggestions of ‘Netflix and Chill‘ and the compulsory dick pics to show off their wares. Maybe not.

It’s not always about constructing your own profile either, it’s about looking at other profiles subjectively and working out their euphemisms for ‘most boring person in the world‘ or ‘after a quick shag in the back of my Corsa but I really do want a relationship (lulz)‘.

I’ve had similar reservations about setting up my own Twitter account (@soddinl – shameless plug over, thank you!) to promote this wee blog a little bit more seriously. Finding who to follow, trying to get others to follow you, the etiquette of tweeting and retweeting, getting everything I want to say into 140 characters, and oh, the hashtags *sigh*.

I’m sure we’ll get there in the end, it’s just a steep learning curve. The best part is, you can change your online dating profile if it doesn’t get you the attention you want, and similarly with Twitter you can change your tactics to find something that improves your visibility.

We’re not stuck in the marshlands of online dating and Twitter, it’ll just take a while for us to learn how to go with the flow. Positivity WIN!

 

 

 

Getting Over It and Moving On

I’m talking about the short term romances/disappointing dates/one nighters that turn into maybe 7 nighters…not relationships where big investments are involved, emotional, financial…that’s a whole different kettle of fish.

Me? I’m a moper. For a while at least. I over-analyse, I wonder what the hell happened and what went wrong, why did he behave the way he did, was it my fault? Or is he just a massive raging dick?

More often than not, all the questions don’t get answered. You can only glean so much from the brief contact you had with the person in question so at some point you have to come to some sort of half baked conclusion, get up, dust off and move the hell on.

Moving on means different things to different people, but for me, it seems the best tack is learning a bit from the situation and getting back on the horse. You don’t necessarily have to view dating as all sunshine and roses especially after a knock back, but being brave enough to fling yourself back into the pit is often good enough.

Shortly after my miserable disappointment I moped for 2 or 3 days. I was frustrated, obviously. I didn’t want to go on more shoddy dates with unsuitable men and deal with the social awkwardness that meeting complete strangers involves. But if you want the hope of a shiny new relationship you can’t just sit in your flat and watch an inordinate amount of Netflix, eating an incredible amount of cake, smoking an insane amount of cigarettes drinking an inconceivable amount of alcohol and expect Prince Charming to knock on your door…it could happen I suppose but it seems rather unlikely. Especially unlikely if you answer the door in those godawful pyjamas you’ve been wearing for 3 days…

So taking Garth Algar’s profound words “Get over it, go out with somebody else!” to heart I resolved to get back on it; I bit the dating bullet and signed back into my online profiles. I wasn’t expecting much and didn’t have much hope that I would find someone as compatible as the previous guy…But not too long after signing back in I had a few dates lined up, and with that hope renewed itself!

Maybe thanks to a little dogged determination the right guy wasn’t too far out of reach, but he would have been had I sat moping and clinging onto the failure of the past hook ups, continuing to try and figure out why, spending way too much energy on a guy who made it clear he wasn’t prepared to give me what I needed to succeed in a relationship. Amen Garth!

Garth Algar: Love Guru