Chances are if you’re female, you’ve been in this situation. You’re a friendly person, you smile at a guy, you say ‘Hey, how’s it going?’ and you’re generally friendly, jovial and nice.
Turns out, this is flirting. You’ve just given the guy the green light to pursue you.
You might be oblivious at first, you were just being nice after all. You can be friends with men without considering them as sexual partners. I’m not entirely confident that men can be friends with women without at least an element of attraction. It’s that old ‘When Harry Met Sally’ debate.
So, the guy thinks you want him. It takes a lot of convincing on your part that really, you don’t. That you were truly just being nice. You’re concerned though, you want to let him down easy; rejection isn’t fun for anyone, including the rejecter.
You politely decline date requests, ignore his implications that more fun is to be had at his place, you might even have to struggle with him in a deeply uncomfortable ‘play fight’ and again, politely request that he keep his goddamn mitts off you, that you don’t appreciate it.
But hey, you were nice to him right? All those denials mean you’re just being coy, or playing hard to get. Maybe you’re even being a *gasp* prick tease! (Robin Thicke inexplicably popped into my head there…)
After one too many ‘play fights’, inappropriate hugs and perhaps even an attempt to grab your face and struggle to kiss you, you’re probably gonna have to bring out the Bitch card. You’ve tried to be nice, and look where that’s got you.
The ultimate rejection has to be cold, it has to be hard, and most importantly, it has to set boundaries.
After the attempted kiss scenario, mine read;
“I was deeply unimpressed with how last night unfolded. I know I said we should hang out, but that won’t be happening.”
What I really wanted to say;
“What the FUCK is wrong with you, dickhead? When did I give any impression that I wanted you to touch me? Was it when I told you I didn’t want to come back to your place? Was it when I said no to you coming back to mine? Was it even when I was struggling, backing up and saying ‘really, this is happening?! REALLY?!’ when you attempted to forcibly shove your tongue in my mouth?? I felt violated, you absolute delusional prick. Get the FUCK out of my life.”
So, the first message, I feel, was quite restrained. But I’m sure to that guy, it probably made me a bitch.