Tag Archives: arrogance

Does Michael Myers Ever Die??! Letting Go Is Hard To Do…Apparently.

Once you get attached to someone it can be really hard to break free of the idea of you and them being together…I know what it’s like from first hand experience, quite often the product of unrequited love/lust/crush, but you get over it and if you’re sensible, you don’t do anything more freaky than a little bit of Facebook stalking…

A guy I dated seems to be having trouble letting go of me. The dude from my first post. We dated for not quite two months, but from a couple of weeks in, I was starting to have doubts. By 6 weeks, I was dreading having to spend time with him. I’d rather have had a surprise hysterectomy. Fully conscious. It got that bad.

What was worse is that he was utterly shocked when I broke it off with him. People that know me find me to be as transparent as sheet glass when I don’t particularly enjoy something. I try to hide it, but I fail. Epically. And yet, this guy was so self involved he didn’t notice…or didn’t care that I didn’t really like spending time with him. He didn’t see that I just stopped responding to him talking at me. That my smile was tight lipped, or that my tone of voice was flat, apart from when my frustration with him rose, which was far too regularly.

When I broke it off, I made it clear that my decision had been made, I’d thought about it, I’d come to a conclusion and I was staunch that I was ditching him. It seemed only fair on both of us.

He tried convincing me that I was being too rash. Because fantasising about slapping a guy round the head with a halibut is not proof enough that this was not going to work out…

During this attempted convincing, he told me he was planning on taking me for a trip to London. First I’d heard of that. At that point, I would’ve preferred spending a relaxing weekend in the Tower of London tied to a rack being made to watch a dude sharpening implements of torture.

I state my case again, this is not working, I’m not happy, it’s over.

He dropped the L bomb. He loves me, says he. Fuck me, says I (in my head, of course). That’s desperation for you. He didn’t even know me, he wouldn’t let me speak and didn’t have a clue what I was feeling despite it being painfully obvious, but he loves me. Bull.

Enough is enough, says I. Time to bring out the big guns.

“I just don’t want to waste your time. I really can’t see myself ever loving you.”

I felt like I was murdering Bambi in front of him. This is it. He must be aware, now, exactly how it is, this will end all the arguments, retorts, emotional manipulations and convincing, I tell myself.

Wrong.

“I think you will.” Says he.

Bollocks.

He looked pretty damn sure of himself as well. Maybe Stockholm Syndrome got the better of the previous girlfriends?

After this, I gave up. Left him to his tears and delusions and walked home. There was no convincing this guy that I had made my decision and it was final. Abandonment was the way to go. Sure, I felt like a heartless bitch, but there’s only so many ways to tell a person ‘Dude, I’m done with this shit, seriously’, and have it be ignored before it’s time to just GTFO.

I didn’t hear from him for a couple of weeks, and I was relieved. I thought it might have sunk in, and that maybe he would go back to his Mothers (think Norman Bates), talk at some other poor unsuspecting girl and leave me the hell alone.

Wrong.

I got a message from him on Facebook, along the lines of ‘I really miss you and I want you back.’

BOLLOCKS.

I basically told him to get over it, find someone else, delete my number, move on, I’d found someone else, and I actually said “It’s not happening”. He kept messaging me. I blocked him.

He must get the message by now, surely…I’ve told him in no uncertain terms is it EVER going to happen. Ever. And then I blocked him to drive the point home.

Wrong.

He messaged me on the dating site where we first ‘met’ TWO MONTHS after I dumped him. We have now been ‘broken up’ longer than we were together. It was a long and emo, possibly drunken (but I’m not convinced) message about how I was the best thing that ever happened to him and that again, he wants me back.

This guy is like Michael fucking Myers. No matter how hard you shoot the bastard down, stab him in the heart, douse him in petrol and flick a match at the sadistic twat he keeps coming right at you. He slinks away when you’re not looking only to appear 5 minutes later from a fucking cupboard wielding the giant ass carving knife you rammed into his heart…

I didn’t respond. It doesn’t matter how I respond. What the fuck else can I say? I’ve given him plenty of reasons, the main one being ‘I don’t want to’ and I’ve found about 50 ways to say ‘…er. Thanks…but fuck off now yeah?’ I could not have been any more clear.

This has gone beyond desperate to mental illness now. This is personality disorder type shit I’m dealing with here. This is freaking me out. This nutter knows where I live, knows the car I drive, knows where I work and clearly doesn’t give a fuck about consent.

It’s been a couple of weeks and after blocking him on the dating site I haven’t heard anything, but I’m not entirely sure that I’ve heard the last from him.

I’m just waiting for him to appear in the back of my car wearing a William Shatner mask.

“Why can’t we give it another go?”
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ask me xxx

So…online dating. You have a profile, it has information in it in the hopes of attracting a like-minded mate. You might pore over it, making sure it really reflects you as a person. You give a few of your likes and maybe dislikes (not too many of these though, you don’t want to be *that* person). Then you receive a message…exciting right??

“hi how r u”

OK, so…several problems with this. The grammar, or lack thereof. Txt spk – ‘nuff said. They clearly haven’t looked at your profile or if they have, they were too lazy to ask questions or attempt to make conversation based from the information you quite generously gave them to use in order to make it easier to connect. They’ve probably used the same message to contact every other person in their dating radius. Hell, they might have even lacked the energy to type for 3 seconds and instead copied and pasted the sentiment!

But let’s just for a moment ignore those glaring errors in dating etiquette and have a glimpse at their profile. You wouldn’t want to give up too easily, right? Give the guy the benefit of the doubt, right?

Interests
“ask me xxxx”

*headdesk*

Why do people use internet dating? It can be really daunting trying to generate conversation out of nothing when meeting in a bar, for instance. You could compliment their shirt, or hair, or maybe even the choice of drinks. You could start talking about the bar itself, and drop in that ever so corny line ‘Do you come here often?’. It’s difficult, unless you know something about that person.

Which is why internet dating should be so much easier. It doesn’t take much, just a couple of sentences about stuff you like, then it gives someone a chance to gauge whether you would be a good match or not, and it also allows the chance for your interest-related conversation to blossom!

I often wonder why people don’t seem to like filling in that section – is it arrogance? ‘My picture is enough to get interest’ (often, not the case). Do they really have no interests? I refuse to believe this is a possibility. Or is it based in low self-esteem?; ‘no-one wants to hear about me.’

Whatever the cause, I don’t give these profiles the time of day. They can’t be bothered to write a few lines about themselves, they can’t be bothered to ask any questions about my interests or even mention their own, and I can’t be bothered to pretend I’m really interested in them based on a picture.