Tag Archives: Analyse

Getting Over It and Moving On

I’m talking about the short term romances/disappointing dates/one nighters that turn into maybe 7 nighters…not relationships where big investments are involved, emotional, financial…that’s a whole different kettle of fish.

Me? I’m a moper. For a while at least. I over-analyse, I wonder what the hell happened and what went wrong, why did he behave the way he did, was it my fault? Or is he just a massive raging dick?

More often than not, all the questions don’t get answered. You can only glean so much from the brief contact you had with the person in question so at some point you have to come to some sort of half baked conclusion, get up, dust off and move the hell on.

Moving on means different things to different people, but for me, it seems the best tack is learning a bit from the situation and getting back on the horse. You don’t necessarily have to view dating as all sunshine and roses especially after a knock back, but being brave enough to fling yourself back into the pit is often good enough.

Shortly after my miserable disappointment I moped for 2 or 3 days. I was frustrated, obviously. I didn’t want to go on more shoddy dates with unsuitable men and deal with the social awkwardness that meeting complete strangers involves. But if you want the hope of a shiny new relationship you can’t just sit in your flat and watch an inordinate amount of Netflix, eating an incredible amount of cake, smoking an insane amount of cigarettes drinking an inconceivable amount of alcohol and expect Prince Charming to knock on your door…it could happen I suppose but it seems rather unlikely. Especially unlikely if you answer the door in those godawful pyjamas you’ve been wearing for 3 days…

So taking Garth Algar’s profound words “Get over it, go out with somebody else!” to heart I resolved to get back on it; I bit the dating bullet and signed back into my online profiles. I wasn’t expecting much and didn’t have much hope that I would find someone as compatible as the previous guy…But not too long after signing back in I had a few dates lined up, and with that hope renewed itself!

Maybe thanks to a little dogged determination the right guy wasn’t too far out of reach, but he would have been had I sat moping and clinging onto the failure of the past hook ups, continuing to try and figure out why, spending way too much energy on a guy who made it clear he wasn’t prepared to give me what I needed to succeed in a relationship. Amen Garth!

Garth Algar: Love Guru

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Bitches Be Crazy? My Fine Ass! Part 1.

The last couple of posts (here and here) concerned a guy I’ve been dating, and trying to figure out if he wanted to pursue something potentially serious, or just a casual thing. Turns out he wanted something a little more serious! Sorted! Excitement!

After a night of constant touching, hugging, flirting, making out and…the rest, his last words on 8.30am Monday were;

“I’ll text you about [planning our date] Saturday.”

Awesome! So much awesome. I’m so damn pleased with myself I think I’m going to explode in a fit of happy.

The rest of the day Monday and I don’t hear from him, I’m not too worried. He worked a long double shift, we had just seen each other, all good.

Tuesday rolls by and nothing. Hm. OK. I figured I’d get a text by now. Nothing major just something like “Hey gorgeous, how you doing? Was great seeing you the other day xxx”, but, nevermind. Still early days and again he was working late, not too big a deal.

Wednesday goes by and I’m wondering what’s up. Still no text, no fb message…has he changed his mind? Has he freaked out? Has he found someone else? He gets in from work and appears on facebook chat, so I message him. He says;

“Sup hun”

Oh. Fuck. Prior to this conversation it was “Hey gorgeous!” – you know, excitement and flattery, this seemed more ‘Oh, it’s you’. But OK, may be over-analysing a little…

We have a general chit chat about our days. It doesn’t go as I’d hoped. No flirting, no real conversation…I dropped a few ego massagers for him, but nothing returned for me. I decided to call it quits with;

“Time for bed. Kinda wish you were here. You give good hugs!”

I expected a number of responses from;

“I’ll be right over!”

“So do you! And the other stuff too ;)” 

“Aw sweetie, you can have as many hugs as you want on Saturday!”

I did not expect;

“Hahaha 🙂 Night xxx”

Wtf…WTF?! *deep breath* OK, OK. Trying to reason here; it was late, he was tired. DO NOT OVER-ANALYSE!

Thursday. No text. No fb message. Nothing.

Friday, I’m half expecting a message;

“So, about Saturday…Something came up, sozzle x :)”

Even that didn’t come. I’m going a little mental by this point. Why. The Fuck. Hasn’t He Text Me?

After consultation with (many) friends, I text him.

“Hey, still on for tomorrow? x” 

I get a response, at least. He forgot. He might be working. He’ll find out tomorrow. Doesn’t say he’ll let me know. No apologies. No attempt to rearrange. Cannot. Believe. This. Shit.

I have a terrible memory too, but I’ve been so excited about seeing him again, I can barely think of anything else, and…he forgot?

After a to and fro over text, and No Plans Made, I ask what any rational and completely sane person would ask of the guy who didn’t want a casual thing, but didn’t get in contact, FORGOT OUR DATE and hasn’t attempted to rearrange…

“Look, be straight with me here. Do you want to see me again? I’m guessing not…”

Part 2 is here.